Go Green? What The Hell Does It Mean?

All this fuss about global warming. Slogans saying “Go Green” turns up everywhere. Do we, especially us in Indonesia, know what it actually means? What it is to fuss about? I wonder…

I found a lifestyle magazine adding a “Go Green” logo next to its name, while the papers it uses are not even recycled papers. I read a sign on a furniture store that sells mostly wooden stuff saying “we only use environmentally friendly products”. I found a report in a newspaper that a government official in a small town was making this statement, “Our town doesn’t need to worry about greenhouse effects. We don’t have any buildings with many glass windows in this town.” WHAT? *…sigh…*

What the hell does “Go Green” actually mean?

Well, let’s start with global warming. All of this started with global warming. Ever since people all over the world started talking really seriously and loudly about it, Indonesia feels that we need to do that too… without really understanding what it is or why… As usual, we are obviously not a bunch of clever people… yet very ignorant and stubborn.

Let’s stop here. If you don’t feel like reading this long (yes, it’s gonna be very long) article, I suggest you find the movie “An Inconvenient Truth” or “Earth” and watch it. You’ll get the explanation about global warming without reading this. And you’ll save me from ever getting menacing text messages saying, “Still trying to save the world, huh?”

No, for your information, I’m not trying to save the world. I’m just trying with all my might not to become too stupid because my stupidity might end up hurting others. That’s all.

The Things We Can’t Live Without
Anyway…before I talk about global warming, let’s review a bit of elementary school science. You all know that the atmosphere covers the Earth, right? Please say you do… Please… Okay, if you don’t, the atmosphere is a thin layer of mixed gases which make up the air we breathe. Aaah… now you understand, right? *…praying that you do…*

This thin layer also helps the Earth from becoming too hot or too cold, much like clothing does for us. So global warming is not actually a new concept. It has been happening for millions of years. And it’s actually a good thing because the Earth needs to be warm enough to sustain life. Yes, including our lives. How does this thin layer keep the Earth warm? The mixed gases that I told you about, the ones that make up the atmosphere, are actually what we now know as the greenhouse gases. Some of these gases occur in nature, such as water vapor, carbon dioxide, methane and nitrous oxide, while others are entirely human-made… you know, like the aerosols from the hairspray that we girls like to use to look cool for a weekend afternoon at the mall and the carbon dioxide from the cars we depend on to get places and from many other human-made sources. BUT THOSE ARE THE THINGS I CAN’T LIVE WITHOUT!!! Beauty products, car, air conditioner, airplane… AARRRGGHH!!! Okay, calm down. We’ll get to that soon.

The greenhouse gases are not the villains here. That must be clear from the start. These gases allow sunlight to enter the atmosphere freely. When sunlight strikes the Earth’s surface, some of it is reflected back towards space as infrared radiation. Greenhouse gases absorb some of this radiation and trap the heat in the atmosphere. Over time, the amount of energy sent from the sun to the Earth’s surface should be about the same as the amount of energy radiated back into space, leaving the temperature of the Earth’s surface roughly constant. And that’s exactly what we need. A constant temperature.

For millions of years, the Earth had succeeded in keeping the temperature just at the right level to let us live and grow and work and have fun and have sex and have babies and die. Our children then repeat that wonderful life cycle on Earth. Everything was pretty much under control… until around 150 years ago, when large-scale industrialization began.

My Wonderful Lifestyle
Now let’s not lie. The results of industrialization are mostly wonderful for us human beings. Because of it, we enjoy technology advances, better and longer living expectancy, easier and cheaper ways to travel and a level of comfort unimaginable before. I myself thank God everyday that I get to live in the era of electricity and technology, and I get to witness so many great inventions that now I can’t live without either. Namely my cell phone, my laptop, my car, my TV and the internet. Not to mention the things that define my “comfort zone”. They are the air conditioners in my house, in my car, at work and almost everywhere I go in my crazy town of Jakarta, my microwave oven, my toaster, my fridge, hair and beauty products, clothes and shoes, accessories, numerous books and magazines, cigarettes, good food, good wine, good beer, other alcoholic beverages and so many more! Oh, let’s not forget those feminine napkins that allow us women to annoy the hell out of you men with our PMS because we don’t have to worry about washing our undies anymore. We simply use a napkin, then dispose it. Ah, thank God for that.

Yes, yes… wonderful… all wonderful… just fantastic. I love my lifestyle.

But you see, we have been way too comfortable. While it is wonderful to have such lifestyle, and you’re gonna have to kill me to give it up, we forget that the more we consume, the more we need to conserve. Let me repeat this point. This is very important. Especially since I myself, like most of you, is a self-indulgent, pleasure-seeking and materialistic being. CONSERVATION DOES NOT MEAN LESS CONSUMPTION.

BUT… before you feel too happy for not having to give up anything, listen to this first.

Stuff We Need To Breathe
Better and longer living expectancy means exponential increase in human population. There are now so many people on Planet Earth with whom we need to share our natural resources with. Oxygen, water, food, land and so on. While technology advances mean we now have all those wonderful things I mentioned. You follow this? Lots of people. Lots of wonderful things. Everyone wants everything. Everyone wants to make lots of money in order to own an air-conditioned house, a car, a fridge and etcetera.

But many of these wonderful things that we want and can’t live without, emit carbon dioxide, bringing its concentration in our thin atmosphere to a dangerous level. The petrol for our car. The fuel for the airplanes that we get on frequently. The woods, the coal, the air conditioners. And many of these wonderful things were also created from elements in nature that we actually need to protect us!

Instead, we destroy them to create space for us to live, work, study and hangout. We destroy them to produce the things that make our lives comfortable and convenient. And we destroy them some more to make more money and have more wonderful things.

Never for a second that we think about this. Those trees that we cut down to create space and to produce things, have the power to absorb carbon and without protest transforming it into oxygen. Oh wow, that’s the stuff we need to breathe! Exactly.

Producing oxygen and being a carbon sink aren’t the only things the trees are good at. They also prevent soil erosion and thus give us a natural flood barrier. They help regulate our climate too. So they are the most effective weapons to fight global warming.

But guess what? In Indonesia, forests the size of six soccer fields are gone every minute. Yes, you heard me right. EVERY MINUTE. That’s SIX SOCCER FIELDS. Not every year, not every month, not every week, not even every day. But EVERY MINUTE. For what? Yup, for all those things we can’t live without.

The Water World
I have just been talking about the trees. I haven’t even mentioned the oceans. Oceans cover about 70 percent of Earth's surface. Their large mass and thermal properties, enable them to store vast quantities of heat. Oceans, just like the trees, also buffer and regulate temperature. The atmosphere and ocean constantly exchange energy and matter. For example, water evaporates from the oceans into the atmosphere. This moisture then falls back to the Earth as rain, snow, sleet and even the morning dew on the grass.

But guess what? In Indonesia, the largest archipelago in the world, a maritime country that once supposedly always triumphed at sea, totally SUCK at protecting our oceans. Only 40 percent of our reefs remain pristine. And more and more are destroyed every day. Fish bombing, cyanide fishing, over fishing and loads of other problems. Not to mention the other important marine ecosystems that we also destroy, such as mangroves and sea-grass beds. For what? Yup, for all those things we can’t live without.

While the land covers 27 percent of Earth’s surface, now I also have to mention about ice, which is the world’s largest supply of freshwater, covering the remaining 3 percent of Earth’s surface, including most of Antarctica and Greenland. Because ice is highly reflective and because of its insulating properties, ice plays an important role in regulating our climate. And the world’s ice is melting at an alarming rate. Why? Yup, because of global warming, because we insist to have all those things we can’t live without and yet fail to do it wisely.

Animals and Us
And of course there is the animal kingdom, on land and at sea. To some of you, they are probably just… animals. Some are cute, some are yummy, some are vicious and some are simply disgusting. But what we almost always fail to realize is that how our lives are dependent on them. Their existence determines our own survival. Their health determines our own wellbeing. Their behavior determines our opportunity. Every single change in their existence, health and behavior pattern thus determines our own future. Here are a few simple examples.

Orangutans, the largest arboreal animals in the world, are our closest living “relatives” in the animal kingdom. In the (few remaining) tropical jungles of Sumatera and Kalimantan, orangutans spend 99 percent of their time in trees. Their diet consists primarily of fruit but they also eat leaves, flowers, bark and insects such as termites and larvae. Cute, just cute creatures. But these cute creatures have very important functions in the forest. They spread seeds through their feces and by spitting out the seeds of the fruits they eat, which will then germinate and maintain diversity in the rainforest. In fact, their seed dispersing activities are vital to maintaining the ecosystem, which in turn is also needed to establish a long-term sustainable forest-related industry that we need to indulge ourselves with the wonderful things we can’t live without.

Sadly, orangutan population in Sumatera and Kalimantan has decreased by almost 50 percent in only the past six years! Irresponsible logging, insensitive wildlife trade and rampant hunting are all to blame. Consequently, less and less of them are available to offer their services to us. We can no longer easily take advantage of their seed dispersing activities to scatter and sow the seeds of durian trees, palm trees, cinnamon trees and many other trees that actually have high economic values for us. So orangutans’ existence, health and seed dispersing behavior are essential in determining whether or not we can still have and enjoy various forest-related products we love so much.

Our Ocean Earth
Do you love seafood? I LOOOVE SEAFOOD. Where do you think seafood come from? From the sea, you idiot! Well, yes… they’re from the sea. But do they just exist in the sea forever and ever? They’re just there. They’re always available. NO. Just like in the forest, there’s life cycle in the ocean too. If the delicate balance of that life cycle is disrupted or disturbed in any way, we may lose the joy of eating one or two types (or all) of seafood.

Life at sea depends on the wellbeing of mainly three ecosystems. The coral reefs, the mangroves and the sea-grass beds. To keep consistent with the previous subtitle “Animals and Us”, I’m going to focus on just the coral reefs. Why? Because here’s something that’s probably a brand new knowledge for most of you: coral reefs are ANIMALS. They may look like an elaborate cluster of colorful and artsy rocks under the sea, but they are actually animals. Living, breathing, breeding animals. They live in colonies. So one shape of coral may consist of hundreds or thousands or even millions of these creatures.

These living, breathing and breeding animals provide a beautiful and colorful empire for marine creatures all over the world, big and small, visible and invisible, pretty and ugly. For marine creatures, coral reefs are a nursery where they eat, find mates, make love, have babies or simply find a safe little corner to rest and sleep. Even humpback whales would endure an epic 4,000-mile journey to reach the clear, safe and warm waters of the tropics just to have their babies, before returning to the forever cold and rough ocean of Antarctica. So the reefs are where life begins at sea. Without them… well, there will be no seafood. Ever.

That’s the simplest explanation about reefs. Of course there are other functions of the reefs that are also very important. But I know you would find it a lot easier to understand when it relates to food. So I’m not going to get too technical and scientific by explaining the other functions. I just want you to realize how important it is to protect and conserve our reefs, if you still want to enjoy seafood. And get this, about 75 percent of the world’s coral species live in the waters of INDONESIA. Our once pristine tropical waters are at THE HEART OF THE CORAL TRIANGLE. The richest waters in the world. Yes, our waters. Our oceans. Our seas. Yes, the ones that we pollute, the ones that we bomb, the ones that we spray with cyanide, the ones that we exploit greedily with total disregard for the future. Well then, our grandchildren may never know what seafood is anymore…

We have forgotten that water is the most essential element in our lives. We have taken it for granted. We have forgotten that water is THE ONLY THING that keeps us together. While the lands are separated by thousands of miles. The seas are all connected under the great blue sky. The seas keep us connected as one planet. Planet Earth. Our Ocean Earth.

The Rubbish Country
I have yet to mention about the by-products of our lifestyle, namely rubbish. Lots and lots of rubbish. Inorganic, non-biodegradable rubbish that the Earth do not know what to do with. You know, the various types and brands of containers, bottles and other creative packaging for our liquid soap, shampoo, detergent, cosmetics and even condoms. Zillions of things are made of plastic. Zillions…

“But…,” you protest, “I don’t throw my rubbish everywhere. I always throw them in a dedicated rubbish bin.” Well, that’s good. At least you have played a part in keeping our environment clean. However, I have to tell you that that’s not enough. Especially in this country, it’s definitely not enough.

First, there are still MANY, MANY of you in this country who still throw rubbish everywhere. Mineral water bottles, food wraps, cigarette boxes, cigarette buds and many other types of packaging are EVERYWHERE. If you can read this, I’m sure you’re not blind. I’m sure you’ve seen the garbage EVERYWHERE. On land, in the river and in the sea. On the streets, in the cities, in the remotest villages. They are EVERYWHERE. To make matters worse, the ever-stupid Indonesian government so far does not have a waste management system to process our rubbish wisely. No rules and regulations. No law. Or at least none that’s being enforced.

And so it is up to us, it is up to each individual in this country, to make an effort to reduce our own rubbish and sort out our own rubbish. The biodegradable ones can go back to Earth as composts. The rest MUST BE RECYCLED.

You get the big picture by now, right? Basically, we are in deep shit…

The Conspiracy Theory
There is such a lack of concern about global warming… I have to ask what it would take to set off the alarm bells to make this a top-of-mind priority. I’ve even heard that some people actually think that this whole global warming fuss is a conspiracy. It’s a trick created by well-developed Western countries to control us in the east. WHAT?!!

Fist of all, for those of you who are so anti-western-civilization, please take this quiz. Count how many things in your house that have western brands. Count how many things in your office that have western brands. Count how many restaurants and fast food places where you sometimes eat or drink that have western brands. Done? Now count how many ideas or solutions that you have in your brain to help us avoid using western brands and still have the qualities and services we seek for. None? Zero? Okay, just count how many things you actually have in your brain. Still nothing? Zero? No wonder…

Secondly, Indonesia is in the Guinness Book of Record. No, not for a great achievement, but for an achievement after all. We are in the Guinness Book of Record for being the number one country with the fastest rate of deforestation. It doesn’t take a genius to see that WE ARE the number one country causing global warming. You know that a human body has two lungs? So does Earth. One is our forests. The other is the Amazon’s forests. By destroying our forests, we have amputated one of the Earth’s lungs. Fewer forests, less oxygen, more carbon, more heat, you’re dead. Get it? GLOBAL WARMING IS NOT A TRICK! IT IS NOT A CONSPIRACY! It’s happening and it’s happening NOW! Recent natural disasters and weird diseases in the world are the proofs. How stupid can you be?

Conservation ≠ Less Consumption
So after knowing that we are in deep shit, I really hope… Dear God, Dear Father, I REALLY HOPE… that you show a little more concern and act accordingly. I’m actually hoping that you would fall in love with Planet Earth, but I would be happy enough if you at least make every little change that you can in your lifestyle in order to save our forests, to save our oceans, to save our flora and fauna, to save us, to save Earth.

Remember, conservation does not mean less consumption. I’m NOT telling you to stop eating this and that. Stop using this and that. I’m just asking you to be wiser and smarter. If you want to keep the lifestyle that you have and enjoy, be aware of the environmental impacts that you’re causing. And be ready to manage those impacts in the smartest and most environmentally friendly manners as possible. Remember, you’re not the only one who would like to have a certain lifestyle. You’re sharing this Earth with billions of other living beings, humans and non-humans, who also have the right to live. And lastly, you need to remember that your children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren will still need to continue this life after you’re gone. They will need a healthy Earth too. Please don’t make them pay the consequences for the horrible things we choose to do today.

Now, let’s go back to the term “Go Green”. If conserving doesn’t equal less consumption, how do we “Go Green”? This is how.

1. Count Your Carbon Footprint
Count the amount of carbon you produce based on your lifestyle. Calculating your carbon footprint is not hard. There are hundreds of websites that offer calculators and some even offer ways to offset your sins. Kind of like the church or the mosque. It’s neutral and it’s up to you to make the difference. According to calculator and based on my own hedonistic lifestyle, I owe Mother Earth 4 trees. How about you?

Try one of these websites:
- http://www.wwf.or.id/cfootprint/?l=id (this is a great one for Indonesians)

- http://www.conservation.org/act/live_green/carboncalc/Pages/default.aspx
- http://www.econeutral.com/carboncalculator.html

- http://www.nature.org/initiatives/climatechange/calculator/

2. Offset Your Carbon Footprint
Once you know the amount of carbon you produce (it’s a LOT, isn’t it?), now all you have to do is offset it. You know, make it zero. Balance it out. You can achieve this by planting trees (the number of trees you need to plant will depend on the amount of your personal carbon footprint) or by donating money to a conservation organization and let them save the environment for you.
3. Reduce, Reuse, Recycle!
Then make a pledge to Mother Earth to love and protect it by changing your habits. Yes, you can still shop ‘til you drop, but don’t accept any plastic bags from the stores. Bring your own reusable shopping bags. Recycle and reuse as much as you can. Save energy. Use environmentally friendly products. Use both sides of the papers to print stuff. Don’t buy pre-paid vouchers to refill credits of your cell phone provider. Use electronic refill instead. Reduce your garbage. Separate biodegradable garbage and non-biodegradable ones. REDUCE, REUSE, RECYCLE!

There are many websites where you can find how to make your life more green without sacrificing too much of your lifestyle. But nonetheless, a sacrifice is a must if you love someone or something, right? I just hope you love Earth enough to make that sacrifice. A small one to save this lovely Planet. The ONLY home that we know and have. And to save this beautiful jewel of the equator. The lung of the world. The heart of the coral triangle. The largest archipelago in the world. INDONESIA.

Then the term “Go Green” will make sense. Then you can say, “I AM GREEN.”

No, I’m not trying to save the world. I’m just trying not to be stupid because my stupidity could hurt and kill others, including my loved ones and the ones that aren’t born yet…

Happy Earth Day 2008, Mother Earth! I’m your daughter and I love you… © Rini Sucahyo

Photo Credits:

[1, 3, 4, 5, 9] Cassey Sucahyo - http://casseybunn.deviantart.com/

[2] http://www.eia.doe.gov/oiaf/1605/ggccebro/chapter1.html

[6] Rini Sucahyo

[7] Katherina Tjandra

[8] Unknown - image from a website

[10] http://www.3dnworld.com/users/1/images/UltimateEarth.jpg

[11] Conservation International - http://www.conservation.org/

[12] http://www.scottsdalecc.edu/green/images/Recycle_1_.jpg

MY LITTLE INSPIRATIONAL CORNER WITH A VIEW

listen.. do you want to know a secret?

Early morning sunlight descends upon the sea like forgetfulness. Shadows disappear into that little corner in my soul. Tugging and nagging softly, trying to tell me something. That little corner you instantly fill, right at "hello". Don't you know? That morning, details mingle with memory. The past melts into the future. And the present watches us. Can't you feel? From the little corner where I sit and watch you, I am no longer in this skin. I no longer know pain. Forever ready to welcome every joy and every tear as I lose all fear. Just by watching you, from that little inspirational corner with a view.

do you promise not to tell? wow wow..

Then twilight comes. A thin fog takes flight to a distant shore. The moon and the stars shimmer and dance into the night. From the little wooden corner where we talk, sometimes I can see flashes of possibilities. From the refracted pieces of moonlit ocean, sometimes I can see something that might have been. A smile. A look. And then nothing. Don't you know? That night I can clearly hear the Lady of Sea sing beautiful songs, in harmony with the moon that moves the tides. Can't you feel? I am drowning deep into the depths of your very being, leaving me wanting nothing more than wanting more of you. From the little corner of my heart, something infinitely precious lingers over my world, holding in check my reality. Just by listening to you, from that little inspirational corner with a view.

closer.. let me whisper in your ear

It is late spring, the birds has well begun to sing. Savanna flowers are all in bloom. You can smell their sweet perfume. Lovely thoughts while we journey the sky. Slivers of the sun, cut through the clouds. Leaving behind the ebony shroud. Don't you know? My heart begs to journey on for many miles. All the way until orange and pink drip from the sky. Until we can no longer see our reflections on the clear blue waters. Until happy little moon comes out to play. Can't you feel? Off to the side, in a quite little corner of my existence, a small breezy wind comes rippling around the bend. And all the world is suddenly fresh and new. Just by being close to you, in that little inspirational corner with a view.

say the words you long to hear

I am your love, looking through the eyes of laughter. A humble apprentice of beginnings, yet a faithful connoisseur of ever-after. I am your momentary thought, gasping for a breath of air. I am your future, awaiting to unfold. And I am your wisdom, carrying you through your days of old. By the next full moon, you shall not remain a mystery I can never solve. By the next full moon, you are my little inspirational corner with a view.

i'm in love with you

15 apr 08

SADARKAH KITA?

Beberapa hari yang lalu, gara-gara membahas film "Fitna" dan pemblokiran situs youtube, myspace dan lain-lain, aku mendapat sebuah pertanyaan yang sangat menggangu dari seorang teman. Teman yang sudah lama sekali tidak pernah mengobrol lagi denganku tiba-tiba, out of the blue, memanggilku di YM dengan pertanyaan ini, "mba....r u Katholik now ??" Aku jawab, "lha? iya... udah lama bukan?" Dan diapun memberikan icon "hugs".. entah apa maksudnya.. Dalam hati aku bertanya, kalau aku jawab "Islam" atau "Hindu" atau "Buddha", kira-kira aku akan dapat icon apa ya?

Gara-gara itu, perbincangan jadi masuk ke topik yang sangat aku hindari selama ini. Agama. Aku paling benci mendiskusikan agama. Karena untuk aku, agama itu personal. Pilihan masing-masing individu. Tidak boleh dan tidak bisa diganggu gugat. Tidak boleh saling mempengaruhi. Masing-masing harus mencari jalannya sendiri. Itu sebabnya aku paling anti membicarakan agama. Tapi sekali ini, aku tidak bisa menghindar. Terlanjur kecebur. Akhirnya.. seperti yang sudah kuduga.. ujung-ujungnya berantem.. dan kepikiran selama berhari-hari...

Berikut beberapa cuplikan pembicaraan itu.. nama temanku aku sebut saja "MF" ya, singkatan dari "my friend", karena aku tidak mau mengundang ribut-ribut yang lebih jauh lagi di antara kalian semua dengan dia.. just in case ada yang kenal dengan dia..

MF : trus...ada yang merasa aneh ga dengan ajaran islam ?
MF : ga sreg dengan hati nurani mungkin ?
me : semua ajaran agama ada anehnya
me : tapi ternyata setelah dicari artinya dgn hati, sebenernya gak ada yg aneh
MF : yup...tp gw lebih mau bahas islam..
MF : trus bagaimana dengan ayat2 yg penuh dengan kebencian ??
MF : yg mengharuskan membunuh ? memenggal kepala ?
me : ada ayat2 yg ditulis khusus utk masa perang
me : itu semua perumpamaan... sama spt di alkitab byk perumpamaan...
me : itu terjemahannya dan tafsirannya yg banyak salah
MF : 2:191 Dan bunuhlah mereka di mana saja kamu jumpai mereka, dan usirlah mereka dari tempat mereka telah mengusir kamu
MF : 9:5 Apabila sudah habis bulan-bulan Haram itu, maka bunuhlah orang-orang musyrikin itu dimana saja kamu jumpai mereka, dan tangkaplah mereka. Kepunglah mereka dan intailah ditempat pengintaian.
MF : 5:33 Sesungguhnya pembalasan terhadap orang-orang yang memerangi Allah dan Rasul-Nya dan membuat kerusakan di muka bumi, hanyalah mereka dibunuh atau disalib, atau dipotong tangan dan kaki mereka dengan bertimbal balik, atau dibuang dari negeri (tempat kediamannya). Yang demikian itu (sebagai) suatu penghinaan untuk mereka didunia, dan di akhirat mereka beroleh siksaan yang besar
MF : silahkan cari definisi kafir bagi umat islam
MF : kafir = tidak mengenal Allah n Muhammad
MF : jadi kita yang ga mau kenal sama muhammad patut dibunuh
me : kita? kita sapa? gw mah kenal kok ama muhammad
MF : pernah denger kl muhammad nikahin aisya umur 6 taun, terus menggauli umur 9 taun?
me : itu semua kerjaan orang2 yg pengen jatuhin islam dan memenangkan "iman" nya sendiri. ngapain lo percaya? bego bener sih lo?
me : jangan pernah kemakan sama hal2 kyk gitu... lo bakal jadi sama aja ama pemerintah yg kebakaran jenggot gara2 1 film 16 menit yg amat gak penting
MF : itu diambil dari hadis sahih albukhari loh, bukan dari buku kristen
me : masuk akal gak? coba deh pake otak lo.. masuk akal gak? pake hati lo.. mungkin gak nabi sebesar muhammad melakukan itu? kalo gak masuk akal, bakar tuh buku! dan percaya ama akal lo dan hati lo sendiri!
MF : trus cerita ttg dia mati di racun sama wanita yahudi itu bohong?
me : ya bohong lah!
me : ini intinya ya.. drpd lo susah2 baca smua buku itu dan nyari2 artinya yg jelas2 lo gak ngerti..
me : benerin aja diri lo sendiri sbg manusia.. udah baik belom ama sesama? apa hidup lo udah bermanfaat utk org lain? utk keluarga? utk teman2 dan sahabat2? utk masyarakat luas? utk lingkungan hidup? utk bumi ini? udah? udah bermanfaat? itu aja dulu tauk!
me : DAN kalo membahas agama... jgn pernah membahas dari sisi perbedaan... tapi dari sisi persamaan... gak perlu dicari kenapa begini dan kenapa begitu... lamaaaaaa dan gak penting
me : lebih baik lo bilang gini : org islam bilang anak ibrahim yg disembelih itu adalah ismail.. org kristen bilang ishak...
me : KITA BILANG : peduli amaaaattttt.. yg penting DUA2NYA SELAMAT
me : bego bener sih? kan itu intinya.. Tuhan menyelamatkan umatNya yg pasrah dan patuh.. terserah aja sapa namanya.. ishak kek.. ismail kek.. bejo juga boleh..
MF : islam klaim ismail yg mau disembelih karena islam/arab = keturunan ismail
MF : jadi maunya islam yg dianggep anak kesayangan Abraham
MF : justru itulah jeleknya islam
MF : udah jiplak alkitab, trus malah bilang alkitab itu palsu.. aneh kan..
me : nah... buat apa coba lo bahas yg kyk gitu? ajaib deh lo.. biarin aja.. n coba ya gw benerin.. kalo pun ada yg jelek, itu bukan AJARAN ISLAM, tapi BEBERAPA ORANG ISLAM yg gak ngerti ajarannya dan sama begonya ama elo..
me : islam hanya sebuah ajaran... tapi yg diajarin belom tentu ngerti
me : katolik juga sebuah ajaran.. buktinya lo gak ngerti ajaran katolik juga.. KAGAK BOLEH TAUK JELEK2IN AGAMA LAIN, DILARANG AMA YESUS.. TAU GAK LO??? kalo ada yg jelek2in ajaran agama kita or jelek2in Yesus, apa yg harus kita lakukan? BACA TU ALKITAB...!!! kita musti doain tauuukkk... kita musti maafin dan doain semua musuh2 kita.. nah.. ngerti gaaak??? gak boleh lo ngomong kyk yg lo omongin barusan kalo emang lo orang katolik!!!

And it goes on.. and on.. and on.. sampai dia sepertinya capek sendiri meladeni aku (karena tau kan kalo aku udah panas dan emosi.. hehehehehe) dan akhirnya dia pamit makan siang.. dan tidak pernah menegur aku sama sekali setelah itu..

Ternyata.. masih ada orang-orang seperti ini. Bahkan di antara teman-temanku sendiri. Entah siapa lagi yang memendam benci terhadap agama lainnya. Entah siapa lagi di antara sahabat-sahabat dan kerabat-kerabat yang biasa berbagi tawa berbagi rasa berbagi cerita denganku, yang juga memiliki pola pikir yang dangkal dan sempit seperti ini.. Entah siapa lagi.. Lelah.. lelah sekali rasanya..

So, ini sepotong puisi yang aku tulis tanggal 1 Januari 2005, seminggu setelah Tsunami memorakporandakan Aceh dan Nias.. sepertinya sih belum pernah aku publish sebelumnya.. aku berharap, jika ada di antara kalian, teman-temanku tercinta, sahabat-sahabatku tersayang, yang masih juga DANGKAL dan SEMPIT, please.. baca puisiku.. please.. tolong berusaha mengerti esensinya.. please, let's just be humans.. bukan orang islam, orang kristen, orang hindu, orang buddha, orang indonesia, orang bule, orang padang, orang batak, orang jawa, laki-laki, perempuan, tua, maupun muda.. mari kita HANYA menjadi MANUSIA. titik.

SADARKAH KITA?

Selama ini... dalam tragedi kita menangis pilu
Dan menanyakan apa dosa-dosa kita
Kita kira Tuhan murka
Padahal tiap kesulitan dunia adalah
bukti cintaNya yang paling nyata... Sadarkah kita?

Selama ini... kita shalat 5 waktu dan berpuasa
Atau berlutut dan bernyanyi di gereja
Atau membakar dupa di halaman pura
Kita kira hanya itulah bentuk ibadah
Padahal tiap kata, tiap gerak, tiap langkah
yang kita kerjakan untuk keluarga dan sesama
adalah ibadah yang tak kalah pentingnya... Sadarkah kita?

Selama ini... terpekur kita menggulir tasbih dan berdzikir
Atau membaca rosario dan doa Novena
Atau menghaturkan maha suksemaning idepnya
Kita kira hanya itulah bentuk doa
Padahal tiap kata, tiap gerak, tiap langkah
yang kita haturkan dalam hidup keseharian,
termasuk tiap keyakinan dan tiap keraguan,
adalah doa yang justru paling sering dikabulkanNya… Sadarkah kita?

Selama ini... basah pipi kita berlinang air mata...
melihat gambar korban bencana yang meninggal dunia
Wajahnya rusak, badannya menggembung... kaku...
terutama wujud korban anak-anak tak berdaya...
Kita kira mereka mati mengenaskan dalam derita...
Padahal kita lupa, yang kita lihat di TV dan media
hanyalah JASAD! Bukan JIWA!
Jiwa mereka cantik dan bahagia kini...
Dalam rengkuhan hangat sang Pencipta...
Mereka tidak pergi... mereka telah pulang! Sadarkah kita?

Kitalah yang perlu dikasihani... Kita sendiri!
Karena kita yang telah mati... Kita sendiri!
Wajah rupawan dan badan tak terluka...
Tapi jiwa kita hitam... kosong... hampa...

Kita yang menangis menghiba-hiba... dan mengira Tuhan telah murka
Kita yang seperti robot menjalankan ritual... dan mengira itu adalah ibadah
Kita yang melafalkan rangkaian kalimat sulit... dan mengira itu adalah doa
Kita yang tak pernah bisa membedakan antara jasad dan jiwa...

JANGAN MENANGIS! BANGUN! HIDUP! JANGAN SEKEDAR ADA!
Jangan pergi ke Irak dan membunuh orang Amerika. Itu bukan jihad!
Ajarkan diri ini dan putra-putri kita untuk berbudi, tak hanya berakal...
Ajarkan diri ini dan putra-putri kita untuk beriman, tak hanya beragama...
Agar ada atau tak ada bencana... cinta Tuhanlah yang terlihat nyata melalui cinta kita...
Wajah Tuhanlah yang terpancar jelas melalui wajah kita... Inilah jihad... sadarkah kita?

14 april 2008

LOSING MY FAITH ON HUMANITY

I had to take my oldest daughter to the emergency room of Pondok Indah Hospital last week. She was really sick, high fever, nausea, etc. I thought she might be down with dengue fever or typhoid. But 2 hours after giving her blood to rude nurses who always seemed too busy to look after anyone, we still didn’t know what the hell she was down with. Then a doctor came, poked around a bit, then told me that she needed to stay. She had to be hospitalized. FOR WHAT? I didn’t know, yet I gave in. Anything for my angel. So she was hospitalized. Room 4206. Building B. But none of us knew why. The test results wouldn’t be back until tomorrow. Or so they told us.

The next day, I asked the nurses whether the test results were back from the lab. Dengue? Typhoid? Bird flu? (God forbid!) Anything? They declined to answer. They told me to wait for the doctor, Dr. Suhendro. But the doctor already did his round that morning and the nurses said he wouldn’t be back until late afternoon, around 6 PM that day. And so my daughter stayed. She did say she felt better after getting all kinds of medication. Yet we still didn’t know why she was there. Medication FOR WHAT?

I missed the doctor that afternoon. It was raining like crazy, Jakarta was a total mess, the traffic was hell! By the time I got to the hospital after work, the nurses told me that the doctor already came and went, only to find out from my daughter that he never came at all that afternoon. Damn! Why did the nurses lie?

So the following day I decided to take the afternoon off from work and hang around at the hospital. I asked my mom to come too, since she’s a doctor too. Maybe the doctor and the nurses would be more inclined to tell the truth to another doctor than to me. And they did. They showed my mom the test results. Dengue, negative. Typhoid, negative. Malaria, negative. Chikungunya, negative. Hepatitis, negative. SHE’S JUST HAVING A VERY BAD COLD!!! Jesus Christ! And I had to pay nearly Rp.1 million per day for it! So Mom told the doctor nicely that since it’s only a cold and since she’s also a doctor, she would rather look after her granddaughter herself at home. My daughter was discharged from the hospital the next day.

My mom and I nursed Cassey back to health. But I don’t think anyone could ever nurse my disappointed heart back to health. Why do doctors do that? Why do nurses do that? Why would they ask anyone to stay in a hospital when it’s not necessary? Money? Don’t they watch E.R.? Grey’s Anatomy? Aren’t doctors and nurses supposed to be caring and kind like in E.R. and Grey’s Anatomy? Or is that just in the movies? Now I’m the one down with a cold. Tired after managing the Plenary Hall stage on Java Jazz Festival and then from not having enough sleep, waiting on my daughter in the hospital. But that’s easy enough to cure. I just don’t know how I’m going to cure my disappointment at humanity… I am totally losing it… totally losing my faith on people… on humanity… Yes, seriously… I really am…

A couple of weeks ago, I had a meeting at the U.S. Embassy with top officials of the U.S. government and USAID people. It was a TFCA meeting. Tropical Forest Conservation Act. What’s TFCA? Well, it’s a “debt-for-nature” swap deal. Here’s how it works. The U.S. government (or any other rich government in the world) will free Indonesia from a certain amount of debts that we owe to them. Yes, we never have to repay these debts ever again. But the catch is, the Indonesian government must do a swap deal. We must swap our debts with good deeds for nature. In this case, US$ 19.6 million is available for forest rehabilitation in Sumatra or Kalimantan or Papua. Three big NGOs (CI, TNC and WWF) are invited to “buy in” more debts (valued at an additional US$ 4 million) and also to implement the rehabilitation program. The U.S. government will not hand over the money to Indonesia. Instead, the money will be given directly to the NGOs who will do the program. All they need from the Indonesian government is a signature. An approval.

Isn’t that sweet? A signature on a piece of agreement paper. And we will be freed from nearly US$ 25 million of debts. And we will be able to rehabilitate some of our precious rainforests. And none of the government people would have to do all the hard work. It’s the NGOs’ jobs to ensure the work is done and it’s done well.

Yet, after 4 months, the paper is still on the Minister of Finance’s desk. Unsigned. The Ministry of Forestry people are still debating on how they can get their sleazy hands on the money instead of giving it away to NGOs. No signature. No approval. The clock is ticking. We only have until September 30 this year to take this deal. If we miss that deadline, then there will be no deal at all. The money will be allocated to another needing country. Internationally and politically, Indonesia will look bad (again… hmm, maybe we’re used to it and don’t care anymore), especially after we successfully hosted the biggest Global Warming Convention, UNFCCC, last December in Bali. Maybe the world forgets that Indonesia is really good at hosting big events like that, but not necessarily good at putting all convention agreements into real actions.

How embarrassing to be in that meeting. I’m so ashamed to be a citizen of this country. I’m so disgusted at my own people. Doctors just want money (no… not you Jiji... hehehehe... you are the coolest doctor I’ve known, well... you and my mom too…) Nurses just want money. Hospitals just want money. Ministry of Forestry. Ministry of Finance. Ministry of Culture and Tourism. Governors. Bupatis. People who are supposed to serve and protect. They all just want money. And yet they still curse the late Soeharto for what he had done. THEY ARE ALL A BUNCH OF LITTLE SOEHARTOS!!! I am totally losing it… totally losing my faith on people… on humanity… Yes, seriously… I really am…

Wanna hear another story? My office just received a US$ 5.5 million donation from Bakrie Foundation for the conservation of Raja Ampat Islands in Papua. That’s good, right? Well, it would be good if this isn’t just a “green-wash” act… A publicity stunt to appear more “green”… Don’t forget, the Bakrie empire is responsible for all the mess in Sidoarjo… the Lapindo tragedy… The Bakrie empire is also responsible for hundreds of unfit and unsafe homes they built in Aceh for tsunami victims. None of that mess has ever been resolved. So, as much as I love and adore Raja Ampat and glad that there are people who start paying serious attention to it, I am appalled at the fact that Bakrie spent that much money on it, instead of using the money to clean up all the shit they had done in other places! Where are their fuckin’ brains? Do they even have one?

And what disappointed me the most is the fact that our office, Conservation International, a well-respected international NGO, actually accepted that money! Anything for the sake of continuing our programs, is that it? Where are our fuckin’ brains? Do we even have one?
I still have so many stories. Stories from Flores. Stories from Ambon. Stories from Tual. Stories from South Tapanuli and Mandailing Natal. Stories from Aceh. Stories from Bangka-Belitung. Stories from East Kalimantan. Stories from North Sulawesi. Stories from Makassar. And no, these are not stories told by other people to me. These are things I experienced myself in the past 4 years of my journey across this amazing country. I don’t even know where to begin, as the stories have no ending. But the point is always the same. People, especially Indonesian people, are losing their minds. They’re losing themselves. They’re not even alive. They breathe, they move and they have names. But they’re not alive. They’re all dead. Poor people, rich people, tragedy victims, award winners, government people, business people, doctors, nurses, lawyers, judges, religious leaders, NGO people, activists, conservationists, scientists, NEARLY EVERYONE!!! They are all dead… I am stuck among dead people who insist that they’re alive…

So don’t blame me for being cynical or hateful or dark and twisted… I’ve seen too much, I’ve gone through too much… I don’t wanna be strong anymore. I don’t wanna give up, but I don’t wanna be strong anymore either. I just wanna tell things like they are. So you know. So you can decide. So you WAKE UP!!! Coz you could be one of those dead people, you know? Do you know? You scare the shit outta me… WAKE UP!!!

What can I say? I think I’ve said this before, and I’m gonna say it again. This country is owned by around 1 million rich and evil bastards, governed by around 10 million idiots, and condoned by around 100 million cowards. The rest are hanging there on a thin thread, trying to make sense of it all. And fail. Again and again.

The worst thing about corruption as a system of governance is that it WORKS SO WELL. And in this God forsaken country, corruption is a form of art. Everyone is trying to get it as close as possible to perfection. And so dealing with this country is like being rolled into a tiny cylinder and then pushed into a very tight tube. If you emerge on the other side of the tube without permanent damages and you spring back to your original shape, then you pass. And you wonder why I think that people in this country is something that gets harder to understand, every damn second of my life. It’s like a kind of really difficult math test that nobody passes…

And yet we still think that we are a country of religions. That we are religious people. People who believe in God. Don’t we know that there’s NO such thing as BELIEVING IN GOD? You either KNOW GOD or YOU DON’T.

Who can I trust? Who? Anyone? What is this world coming to? What is my country coming to? Do we still have enough humanity in us to call ourselves human beings? I am totally losing it… totally losing my faith on people… on humanity… Yes, seriously… I really am…

No, man. I’m not giving up. I’m still in it. I’m still fighting. Why? Because I like danger. I like danger because danger is one of the few things strong enough to help me forget my fear. I know I’ve sometimes become an asshole because of it. But it’s hard not to become an asshole when you’re surrounded by assholes. Sorry if I hurt you. I just wanna wake your soul up. You must know that your soul has NO CULTURE. Your soul knows NO NATIONS. You soul has NO COLOR or ACCENT or WAY OF LIFE. Your soul is FOREVER. You soul is ONE. I wanna wake you soul up through your heart, because when the heart has its moment of truth, then the soul can’t be stilled anymore…

You know, some feelings sink so deep into the heart that only loneliness can help you find them again. Some truths about yourself are so painful that only shame can help you live with them again. And some things are just so sad that only your soul can do the crying for you. Please wake up… Even if it hurts and makes you cry, please wake up…

Because I am totally losing it… totally losing my faith on people… on humanity… Yes, seriously… I really am…

jakarta.18.03.2008 @ 01:08 AM

SOMETHING BLUE

it was a chilly morning. i didn't actually wanna wake up. but perhaps more than anywhere, it was only this stunning place, this God's masterpiece, that could fill me with energy. yes, even this early. blue, blue everywhere... glad i woke up. energy, wilderness and sprawling dry ruggedness were mixed with soft, gentle and awesome visual experience, liable to make jaws drop. little that i knew, it was that morning which started a heartache. it was the morning that made the distance between the depth of the blue ocean and the unthinkable height of the blue sky, simply... disappeared.

it was a test to take on the most vital and organic explosion of life. it was a fascinating insight into my own soul. then afternoon came. still blue. then night fell. dark. yet still blue. but there were bright lights stubbornly dancing with delight. like water, they filled up every single empty space in me, including the ones i didn't know i had. breathless and brighter than any possible reality. i should've had known. they were not real. those bright lights weren't real.

mystical journey beyond time, followed by an anniversary with the one i had lost. it was blue. but it was paradise. the sort of paradise that missed out on the glamour of kingdoms and parades and parties and drugs and rock and roll. shades of nostalgic feelings. all shades of blue. mystical journey that managed to be so sexy, but until now... it remains mystical. it wasn't real. it was more like a delightful decay of an uncertain future. it was this legendary struggle of the heart that made a fragile being like me need to be guided by a shot of tequilla. a stiff shot of tequila. maybe two stiff shots of tequila.

ancient. ancient and blue. ancient and forgotten. but just like this stunning blue ocean, maybe being forgotten could be a gift. on the distant horizon where the sky meets the sea, where serenity is absolute, maybe that is where the ancient, the forgotten and the blue could all be remembered again, rediscovered. that would be nice. it really was almost too perfect. because perfection only belongs to God, then i should've had known, that this too was far from perfect. between the demands of my heart and the pull of reality, at dusk i found that it was only something blue.

yet the blue was so beautiful. can't blame me for still wanting. still waiting. still wishing. that brief early summer mystical journey was essentially untranslatable but meant something like yearning tinged with nostalgia. it formed a deep-rooted force in my heart. and left me obsessing with a tentative vision of a great future. blue but beautiful to behold.

batavia.end.of.feb.2008

yaelah. my vision tree vs. my reality plant

yaelah.

yaelah.
yaelah.
anything for attention.
it's bizarre.
but u would never know, i guess.
the way u affect me.
u will never know.
what i do.
or what i will do.
or what i will do to u.
a dollar please.

yaelah.
yaelah.
yaelah.
cape deh.
my vision tree vs. my reality plant.
pengen nyimeng.
my dream boat vs. my reality shore.
pengen minum tequila.
gw kangen tauk!
a yawning gulf between u n me.
cepetan dong!
yaelah.
yaelah.
yaelah.

My phantom. I’m converted.

jakarta 21 feb 08 22.22 PM

if thinking about you is a required religious ritual in order to go to heaven, then i've earned an entire kingdom in heaven already. if you are a religion, then i'm totally converting. you are so cool. my phantom lover. who always comes to me in my dreams. then departs with the morning shadows.

* [ no more of talk of darkness. forget those wide-eyed fears. i'm here, nothing can harm you. my words will warm and calm you. ]

between the ocean floor and the infinite sky. from the rugged yet gentle islands to the foggy mountains. everything turns into a frenzy. that's what happens everytime i hear my heart wishper your name in caressing waves. it's like music. you are so cool. my phantom lover. who always comes to me in my dreams. then departs with the morning shadows.

* [ let me be your freedom. let daylight dry your tears. i'm here, with you, beside you, to guard you and to guide you. ]

the sun sets. low over the blue ocean. remember that. since then you've become a legend. not of this earth where evil lurks. but of millions of twinkling stars where dawn never spawns and dreams live on. i am lost in hope. and i expect never to return. you are so cool. my phantom lover. who always comes to me in my dreams. then departs with the morning shadows.

* [ all i want is freedom. a world with no more night. and you, always beside me, to hold me and to hide me. then say you'll share with me one love, one lifetime. let me lead you from your solitude. ]

* from "Phantom of the Opera" all i ask of you by Andrew Lloyd Weber

lost in reflection

firasat. instinct.
instinct. firasat.
instinct, in psychology means
a behavior that is genetically
programmed into an entire species
thus, the behavior is not the result of learning
and can be seen across members of a species
i'm so lost in reflection today
it's been raining 3 days in row
mostly in the mornings
the first 2 days, my soul sang songs of joy
thunderous thunder, raging rain and terrible traffic
could not for a second contradict my mood
yet the 3rd day, today
i felt the sudden urge to cry
something happened
between 5 pm and 9.30 pm
don't know what
not even now while writing this
haven't got a damn clue
yet i know, something happened
between 5 pm and 9.30 pm
everywhere, nowhere, somewhere
something happened, today, 19.02.08
i'm so lost in reflection today
instinct, according to wikipedia means
the inherent disposition of a living organism
towards a particular behavior
instincts are unlearned
damn right they aren't
don't even know why i keep having 'em
those instincts
i'm so lost in reflection today
what the hell happened?
wish i could get an answer for once
not just get instincts
felt like i've lost someone
or something
i'm so lost in reflection today
THE ONLY ONE. MY ALPHA.
quit sitting around n answer me!
YOU who stands higher than the rest
tell me, how do i know?
when can i know?
i'm like a little wolf
sitting in the snow
where are YOU?
i'm so lost in reflection today
instincts, to me, for years and years
have been the pre-programmed feelings
that so unceremoniously and unconciously
emerge without prior notice
i always have them
but it always takes a long time
to figure them out!
i'm so lost in reflection today
i kinda suspect what this is all about
if you're angry, i'm sorry
didn't mean to hurt you
it's just that if truth be told
it will take us a step closer
to undefined bliss that we both long for
hope you don't change your mind
i'm lost in reflection today
the grace of the world, be on my side everywhere nowhere somewhere 19 feb 08

You Know Who You Are

what? huh?

YES… YOU… you know who you are…

it’s not THAT hard, y’know
to just confess
to just admit
to just disclose
to just declare
to just come clean
to just own up
to just divulge
to just acknowledge (yes i am looking at the thesaurus…)
i’m just a phone call away…

even if you can’t be with me right now
even if responsibilities bind you right now
even if hope is so fragile right now
still… you can tell me
and i’m just a phone call away…

no, this isn’t a post-modern poetic babble
this isn’t a pretension
this isn’t idolatry of scrambled thought
it’s to tell you that it’s obvious…
secret obsession
secret hope
secret desire
secret love? maybe?
nevertheless, i know you know that i know…
or at least i suspect you suspect that i suspect

so why so secretive?
you’re hurting just as much as i am…
you’re longing just as much as i am…
you’re hoping just as much as i am…
you’re dreaming just as much as i am…
so why so secretive?

i’m NOT interested in that
and you know it
i know you know it
even when you fear it a bit
guess what… done that, been there
so i’m NOT interested in that anymore
your fear has no ground…
you are as free as a bird, as an eagle in the sky
why eagle? i like eagle!
to me, it’s the symbol of freedom
it’s the one thing that i always strive for
freedom… whether it’s right or wrong…
so there…

i’m mostly human, y’know
i do dream about the sky and the sun
i do wish for the soft cream clouds
and i do want beauty and love and life in between
but i know you know that i’m also logical
the silver jingles in your voice
the shimmers of your blazing eyes
they’re not going to get me caught
in a whirlpool of time
and turn me into a damn fool

i just want to be honest
about how i feel
and i want you to be honest
about how you feel
without splashes of red or pools of green
without painting everything like Monet
i just want it plain
plain is just fine
it’s not THAT hard, y’know

out of hundreds, you're the only one
yes... literally... out of hundreds
it's a habit... it's regular... i know that
it's not just a site... it's a bookmark
you're caught, you can no longer hide
come out, come out, wherever you are

make it today
and make it so tomorrow is forever today
confused?
sorry…
but still… it’s not THAT hard!

18 Feb 08 © amanda meirini sucahyo