Prayer No. 6

dear Father,
from the simple fact that it never existed
and now the confusing fact that it’s here
stubbornly hanging around in my heart
stirring wildly in the corner of my mind
i know, it’s You who put it there
so please don’t let it go
and instead, let it grow
grant this prayer, as only You can
this would better not be another joke

dear Father,
from the simple fact that the more i attempt
to expel that particular image from my head,
the more i’m confronted by those laughing eyes
playing in the dim light of memory,
i know, it’s You who let it be
so please let it mature
and please let it nurture
as in now, my time.. not Yours..
because waiting is like a slow poison
that slithers through my blood
this would better not be another joke

dear Father,
that poison melts in my soul like heated butter
numbs my senses like hot ice
leaving me adrift on an empty, endless ocean
drowning in the intoxicating freedom of dreams
this would better not be another joke

dear Father,
lately… i find it difficult to separate the two
him and the heavy blue of a watery sunset
him and the sweet sadness of the fading day
him and the mysterious serenity of the morning sky
both come to tease my heart
only to return to their dark origins at the end of day
leaving me tormented and unfulfilled
laying with my face against the warm sand
this would better not be another joke

dear Father,
this is prayer no. 6
thanks for today’s sweet surprise
but this would better not be another joke