PRAYER ON A CLOUDY DAY

Today, the usually optimistic sunrise is hidden behind hopeless clouds. Only morning dews groan aghast. I wish to go back to sleep under blankets of dreams, so I don’t have to face the thunder of truth in my heart.

Our Father, who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name.
Thy Kingdom come, thy will be done, on earth as it is in heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread.
Forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us.
And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.
Amen.

Today, as the daughter of earth and ocean, I want to bask in Heaven’s blue smile. I want to see the light of the angels’ golden wings and be given what my heart desires to get.

Hail Mary,
Full of Grace,
The Lord is with thee.
Blessed art thou among women,
and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus.
Holy Mary,
Mother of God,
pray for us sinners now,
and at the hour of death.
Amen.

I change but I cannot die. Like a child from the womb and the ghost from the tomb, I am only here, still hoping to dance about the sun once again…

Bapa kami yang di surga, aku mencintai-MU.
Semua kutukan nenek moyangku, papa mamaku,
keluargaku, pasanganku, mereka yang sudah meninggal dunia
dan bahkan juga aku sendiri, aku patahkan dalam KUASAMU.
Sakit penyakit dalam tubuhku dan keluargaku
telah ENGKAU sembuhkan.
Berkatilah aku, pasangan hidupku, anak-anakku,
semua keluargaku, rumahku, pekerjaanku serta teman-temanku.
Jadikanlah kami kepanjangan hati dan tangan-MU.
Dalam nama TUHAN YESUS kami berdoa.
AMIN.

You Know Who You Are

what? huh?

YES… YOU… you know who you are…

it’s not THAT hard, y’know
to just confess
to just admit
to just disclose
to just declare
to just come clean
to just own up
to just divulge
to just acknowledge (yes i am looking at the thesaurus…)
i’m just a phone call away…

even if you can’t be with me right now
even if responsibilities bind you right now
even if hope is so fragile right now
still… you can tell me
and i’m just a phone call away…

no, this isn’t a post-modern poetic babble
this isn’t a pretension
this isn’t idolatry of scrambled thought
it’s to tell you that it’s obvious…
secret obsession
secret hope
secret desire
secret love? maybe?
nevertheless, i know you know that i know…
or at least i suspect you suspect that i suspect

so why so secretive?
you’re hurting just as much as i am…
you’re longing just as much as i am…
you’re hoping just as much as i am…
you’re dreaming just as much as i am…
so why so secretive?

i’m NOT interested in that
and you know it
i know you know it
even when you fear it a bit
guess what… done that, been there
so i’m NOT interested in that anymore
your fear has no ground…
you are as free as a bird, as an eagle in the sky
why eagle? i like eagle!
to me, it’s the symbol of freedom
it’s the one thing that i always strive for
freedom… whether it’s right or wrong…
so there…

i’m mostly human, y’know
i do dream about the sky and the sun
i do wish for the soft cream clouds
and i do want beauty and love and life in between
but i know you know that i’m also logical
the silver jingles in your voice
the shimmers of your blazing eyes
they’re not going to get me caught
in a whirlpool of time
and turn me into a damn fool

i just want to be honest
about how i feel
and i want you to be honest
about how you feel
without splashes of red or pools of green
without painting everything like Monet
i just want it plain
plain is just fine
it’s not THAT hard, y’know

out of hundreds, you're the only one
yes... literally... out of hundreds
it's a habit... it's regular... i know that
it's not just a site... it's a bookmark
you're caught, you can no longer hide
come out, come out, wherever you are

make it today
and make it so tomorrow is forever today
confused?
sorry…
but still… it’s not THAT hard!

18 Feb 08 © amanda meirini sucahyo