A Link to (possibly) the End of the World

#366DaysToDoomsDay

If everything goes exactly as the Mayans had predicted, then in exactly a year from today – on December 21, 2012 – the world will come to an end.

So, I’m “planning” to post “something” everyday, until that day. I call it #366DaysToDoomsDay. Why 366, and not 365? Because 2012 has an extra day, which is Feb. 29.

“Planning” – in quotes – because I’m not even sure I can keep this promise. It’s only a plan. If I fail to write or post anything, it means the plan has changed. Please don’t hold me accountable.

“Something” – also in quotes – because when I’m lazy (like today) or simply uninspired, it means I can post just about anything. Links, photos, or a short sentence like “go to hell!” *grins*

Anyway, if the world as we know it is still here on December 21, 2012 – which is the 367th day from now – I'll... I'll... hmmm... not sure yet what I'll do. But I'll post something, to let you all know that hey! we're still here!

So today, because I’m lazy, I’ll just link you to this great article about the countdown to Dooms Day. Enjoy! J

#SaveForests + #SaveCoralReefs

Following up on my post last night, I just want to remind you all that the orangutans are not the only species that need our attention, love and support.


The Sumatran tigers, the elephants and the rhinos are among the most critically endangered species on the planet. The tigers, especially. There are only 400 left in the forests of Sumatra.


And MOST IMPORTANTLY, saving species is not about taking them home, feeding them and cuddling them (try to cuddle an adult tiger, I dare you!) It's not even about putting them through a rehabilitation program. It's about SAVING THEIR HOMES.




The forest.


That's all that they need.




And saving forests is NOT about planting a million trees. It's about - first and foremost - preserving all the forests we have left.


And preserving forests that we have left is NOT about putting barb-wired fences around them, but about MAKING THE RIGHT CHOICES in our everyday lives.


What we buy, what we eat, what we drink, how we travel, where we travel, what kind of lifestyle we choose - these are the simple everyday decision that will decide whether all the remaining trees in our forests can or cannot stand proud and tall for generations to come.


So do make the right choices. I don't need to elaborate further, because we all can google. :-)




#SaveOrangutans + #SaveTigers + #SaveElephants + #SaveRhinos + #SaveTurtles + #SaveSharks + #SaveEtc = #SaveForests + #SaveCoralReefs.

#SaveOrangutan: Is It Good or Bad?

Wow, this is amazing. Never in my lifetime did I even hope that people, especially Indonesians, would actually care. Let alone starting a movement like this.

No, really. I’ve never had that much faith on this country or its people. Well, I’m not that crazy about people in general. They annoy me. And if I busy myself in various conservation efforts, from the reefs of Raja Ampat to the mangroves of Aceh; from the once-mythical flesh-eating dragons of Komodo to the Bornean orangutans; it’s because I love Mother Earth. Not because I love Indonesia. Just wanna make that perfectly clear to begin with.

So this movement – the #SaveOrangutan movement – caught me off guard. At first I thought this would be a temporary thing… You know, something that’s gone in a few days, replaced by a new issue. But this movement has gotten bigger, stronger and (sometimes annoyingly) louder every day! In fact, it has become a trend. Meaning that if you support the orangutans, you’re cool. You’re in. You’re it.

Indonesians from all walks of life talk about it – on campus, in the mall, in the streets and even in public transportations. And just the other week, my MOM and DAD talked about it – in angry tones, wishing all oil palm plantations’ owners to be given death sentences! Now, THAT’S something. You see, my mom and dad are my worst critiques. They always think that I’m wasting my Computer Science degree on a bunch of useless animals. Not to mention wasting their hard-earned money that they spent on my overseas education. And every time I bring home a strayed cat or a wounded dog, they get angry. So to see them speaking out FOR the orangutans is… definitely a jaw-dropping moment for me, to say the least.

Anyway, so is this – movement – good or bad?

Well, I’ve heard a lot of criticisms about it from those who think that this movement is motorized by loud-mouth no-brainers. Yes, we’ve had a lot of media coverage, but no substantial change has happened. No one has gone to jail, or even to court. No oil palm company’s license has been revoked, or at least suspended. The government is still sitting on their lazy asses not doing much of anything, other than granting more and more forest exploitation permits, of course. The status of the orangutans is still the same; it’s protected. The status of their habitats is still the same; they’re mostly unprotected.

The private sector, especially the palm oil industry, is laughing at us openly. Can’t you hear them? You think they have suffered revenue loss because of this movement? Think again! NGOs are still having a hard time raising funds in this country and still heavily rely on overseas funding. Most Indonesians stop at “awwh, how cute… “ and/or “awwh, so sad…” Once we ask them to contribute by adopting an orangutan – which only costs around Rp116,000/month or equivalent to 3 cups of coffee at Starbucks – they recoil.

So what good has this movement done for the conservation of orangutans?

Let me tell you, this movement has done wonders!

NEVER in the history of orangutan conservations has the PR Value of media coverage reached over Rp4billion in 2 months! The awareness is undoubtedly the highest ever. Sure, the awareness is still skimming the surface and not much than “awwh, how cute… “ and/or “awwh, so sad…” But we had NEVER even had an “awwh, how cute… “ and/or “awwh, so sad…” moment before this. So this is a MAJOR progress! Let them be. Let them “awwh” and “oooh” all they want. Let them do this for at least a year. Because if it can last that long, then it will be easy(er) to deliver more conservation messages to them, giving them the right information and education, steering them into having stronger desires and motivating them to take real actions. For now, let them be. Let them scream. Just let them.

Secondly, never in the history of orangutan conservation that the government has been so open and welcoming. They’re suddenly more willing to discuss anything. Okay, let’s not be result-oriented at this point. The fact that they’re willing to discuss is SOMETHING! It’s obvious that they’ve started to panic… just a little bit… but still, they’re panicking. And that’s good.

Last but certainly not least, the oil palm industry has started to worry too. They don’t want to admit it yet. But we know they worry. Some have started to issue statements. Some have made several bold agreements with NGOs. Some have started to approach NGOs. They’ve started to worry. Their income is hardly affected by all this drama, but they’ve started to worry for some of the more intangible loss in the future. And that’s good.

So, the #SaveOrangutan movement is both bad and good. But mostly good. Keep it up! And thank you :-)

Neither a Western Mother, Nor an “Amy Chua”

Well, well… I guess it takes a Chinese mother to get me to blog again, after almost a year.

Yeah, I suddenly feel the need to point out that as an Asian single mother of two daughters, I’ve only had ONE rule and ONE rule only: Don’t get Mom in trouble, directly or indirectly.

I will explain to you about that rule later. But first let me tell you why I needed to write this. I needed to let you know that I'm neither a Western mother, nor an "Amy Chua".

Reading Amy Chua’s article, titled “Why Chinese Mothers are Superior” left me with my jaw dropped to the floor. As an Asian myself, I know her so-called “parenting techniques” are actually quite common among Asians. Denying children of their basic rights, which is to play, overriding the children’s preferences and molding them into exactly what the parents want, IS the specialty of most Asian parents.

Some parents even go beyond academic and artistic demands. They decide all aspects of life for their children. Where to live, where to work, who to work for, when to marry, who to marry, what religion to believe, and so on. But to write it out proudly like that? And to present it to the whole world as “superiority”? She must’ve been really brave, or really insane.

I admit, my first impulse after reading her article was to lash out on Amy Chua for making all of us Asian mothers look and sound tyrannical. I wanted to tell her, not all Asian mothers are like you, bitch! Then, thankfully, I read a second article by a Jewish mother, Ayelet Waldman, titled “In Defense of the Guilty, Ambivalent, Preoccupied Western Mom”. I was relieved.

I was relieved because I no longer had the urge to bitch on Ms. Chua. Ms. Waldman’s article reminded me that there WERE times that I too was tyrannical. I let my children have their playtimes, sleepovers, computer games, TV, and internet. I let them choose extracurricular activities. I let them do a lot of things that “normal” Asian (and religious) parents probably wouldn’t, including having boyfriends and, now that they’re 17 and 21, drinking alcohol.

So I believe I’m not as terrifying as Ms. Chua. But I TOO could get tyrannical. Need an example? It just happened last year, when I found out that after spending two precious years studying Philosophy (not to mention spending my precious hard-earned money) in one of the most prestigious universities in the country, my oldest daughter Cassey, actually failed in almost every single class! Not only that, she had faked every single exam result that she sent to me, in the hope that she’d be able to fix her grade point average before I found out. She was wrong, because the university sent a letter directly to me, threatening that my daughter would have to drop out if her GPA did not reach at least 2.0 by that semester.

Long story short, I exploded. I really EXPLODED. I called her a liar, I called her a disgrace, I called her manipulative, and I can’t remember whatever else I called her as I screamed on her face for nearly 2 hours. None of her tears could soften me. I was angry and ashamed.

But then I realized, that was just it. I was ashamed. The pressure of being an Asian, this means I would have to explain to my entire family why this happened. Why she failed. She was ready to admit her failures. But I wasn’t. I was ashamed.

That’s what triggered most Asian parents to be tyrannical. We just can’t stand shame. And so we can’t stand failures because failures bring shame.

And that shame erased the other wonderful things that she had done that year. She had accomplished so much that year! She published a book. A best-selling book! She won a blog competition and had her writings published in a prestigious English newspapers in Jakarta. She was recognized everywhere as a rising and promising talent, not only as a writer but also as a photographer. She had accomplished so much. And my shame almost erased all that.

So eventually I realized what I must do. I talked to her, not screamed at her. We eventually came up with a “win-win” solution. I still wanted her to get her degree, but it didn’t have to be in Philosophy. So she finally decided to transfer to a different college, the Indonesia’s Institute of Art, studying her first love – Photography.

So, yeah… I also could get tyrannical. My Asian blood with all kinds of expectations running through my veins, coupled with memories of my own upbringing, could make me tyrannical at times. The fear of shame gets to me sometimes.

And that’s where the rule fits. My rule. Well, at least it fits me and my family. The rule that I created when they were little. I’ve always told them that they can do whatever they want, as long as they obey this ONE rule: Don’t get Mom in trouble, directly or indirectly.

What does that mean? Let me give you a couple of examples:

1.     They can watch TV as late as they want. But if they can’t wake up the next morning to go to school on time, they would get me in trouble. Because then I would have to either wake them up by force, or write a letter to their teachers, lying that they’re sick. So if they do this, I’d have the right to be angry and get them in “trouble” too. They’d be grounded.

2.     They can drink their heads off. But if they get in an accident or any drinking-related mess, they would get me in trouble too. Hospital bills, possible run with the police, etcetera, etcetera. So if they survive this disaster, I would get them in “trouble” too. They’d be punished.

There are many examples. In fact, when I finally talked calmly to Cassey about her options, she admitted that my rage over her failures was also the result of her “getting me in trouble”. She dragged me into problem and shame, which could be avoided if she would just tell me the truth about not wanting to continue to study Philosophy. I would probably still be a bit angry, but I certainly wouldn’t explode. And I would be able to transfer her into that art school a lot sooner.

In the end, I know I’m not a normal, conventional mother, by any standards. Asian or Western. My “rule” has been questioned and ridiculed by friends and families. My ways of raising my children have been criticized. But one thing that I know, that simple rule has given my children the ability to think for themselves, decide for themselves, make mistakes, and face consequences of their actions.

Since they were little, they’ve decided their own bedtimes. They’ve decided many things. As long as they don’t “get me in trouble” because of their decisions, they can do pretty much whatever they desire. I have also learned a lot by applying this rule. I’ve learned about what they like. What they don’t like. What they can handle and what they can’t. And many more valuable lessons in the 21 years of parenting. I love them to bits for that!

So… I’m neither a Western mom, nor an “Amy Chua”.

But I’m certain, my ways of parenting work. It may not work for everybody, but it surely works for my family.