October 15, 2008

More than I should

More than it should, the silence of my nights holds tender memories about you. More than they should, dark cloudless skies constantly remind me of you. More than they should, quite thoughts bring your smiles to every corner of the walls in my room. And more than I should, I find myself wishing for the velvety moon to tap on your door and letting you know that I like you, more than I should…

More than they should, the cool shades of dawn start my every day with renewed hopes. More than it should, every conversation with you, no matter how trivial, sounds like a love song. More than it should, the jingle of your laughter brings sweet dreams on green meadows. More than it should, each heartbeat seems to take forever. And more than I should, more than ever lately, I have to admit that I like you, more than I should…

More than it should, my mind violently refuses to understand where I stand, that this isn’t what I’ve planned. More than it should, every cell of my existence stubbornly finds its own reason to justify what I feel, explaining that you’re the only one who gets it and so you must be the healing blue ocean and the eagle of the sky. More than it should, my soul gets more and more restless, rejecting to endure much longer and letting you simply reside wordlessly inside. More than it should, my heart keeps failing to recognize that this feeling could possibly jeopardize the very comfort of not having more than I should…

Yeah, it’s just me, wanting what I can’t have. Typical.

4 comments:

unee said...

Oh..wow.
.
.
.
I don't know what to say,exactly.
Maybe because I know what you're talking about.
Hehe.

Beautiful writing too.
And I like the closing sentence.
:)

Yeah,it's so "typical" of us - women :).

AMANDA MEIRINI SUCAHYO said...

hehe.. exactly.. a crush can be so torturing sometimes :-p

unee said...

..let alone more than JUST that.

Hehehe..

AMANDA MEIRINI SUCAHYO said...

you're sooooo right :-)